5 Conversation Topics to Get You Disinherited During the Holidays!
December 20th, 2015
I’m getting my period during the Holidays. And there’s more! I’m getting it the week of December 25… MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
My mood is pretty much a roller coaster when it’s THAT time of the month. I become a bit aggressive… and slightly grouchy!
When it’s that time of the month for you, do you become totally aggressive like me and ready to lose it 10 times a day? If so, here are a few sensitive conversation topics – typical of family Christmas dinners. My advice? Simply breathe calmly and SAY NOTHING… otherwise your family just might disinherit you! ;)
Topic #1: food
What? You say Aunt Gina and Uncle Bob are hosting this year? The turkey is beyond dry, the peeled potatoes have a funny texture and the ONLY dessert is their bland fruit cake?!?
Perhaps avoid saying that the food is REALLY gross… Not exactly the right time to be SO blunt… ;)
Topic #2: being single
Your grandma is on your case AGAIN about you being single? Do you really think it’s the right time to lead her to believe that you prefer girls by talking about your latest conquests in great detail? Even if your cousins would be thrilled to find out…
…one piece of advice: DON’T TOUCH THIS TOPIC WITH A TEN-FOOT POLE!*
Topic #3: gifts
Every year one of your aunts knits a mega ugly Christmas sweater for all the cousins? So you’re feeling honest and want her to know that her magnificent cozy creations are featured front and centre in the Salvation Army window?
Better yet? Have another piece of fruit cake (see point #1).
Topic #4: school
The mood is calm but your hormones are like delinquents looking for a little action? You want your parents to think you’ve dropped out of computer engineering to “follow your dream”: Abstract painting?!! Even if the expressions on your parents’ faces would be a veritable portrait of discontent and frustration? Could be amusing…
…but could also result in a coronary. Don’t give in to the temptation! :P
Topic #5: pregnancy
Another false alarm that your hormones could make you want to throw out there to spice up the Christmas party: a bun in the oven! Imagine announcing, wine glass in hand, that you’re expecting a bay-bay for next year?
Hummmm…. Not sure…
What other topics are “sensitive” at YOUR family dinners?
*If you announce your actual coming out, maybe the details are not so necessary… ;)