Once Upon a Month by Incognito

Cuba in 7 days: the good, the bad and the ugly

February 26th, 2015

Gabi Unleashed

My cure for our harsh Québec winters? A holiday down south with my best girlfriends. Woohoo! We have a little name for it: BFB week, or Booze, Food, Bikini week. This year, we went to Cuba right after the Christmas holidays. What happened on my week in Cuba is not at all what I had in mind! This is what happened:

Day 1

Holà Cuba! Too cool! We’re finally in the warm sunshine, drinking cocktails by the sea!! I feel this is going to be a fantastic week!

Day 2

My best friend – on the prowl since she arrived yesterday – goes over to speak to the guy she spotted yesterday. And the two of them really click! And you know what else? The guy is from Québec City, like her. So I'm left feeling like I won't be seeing too much of her for the rest of the week. :S

Day 3

Feeling mellow, I allow myself a little nap in the sun while my friends play volleyball. Don't ask me why, but I dream of camping, being next to a camp fire. The fire warms my face, and I feel good. Correction! The fire makes me really hot, like really! It burns! All of a sudden, I wake up. I slept for two hours straight - in the burning sun! Between noon and 2:00 p.m. I tried to tan a bit and get used to the sun, but I feel my skin is irritated. When I got back, my friends confirm that "my lobster face goes really well with my red bikini." I hate them. In bed at 9:00 with a big chill. So much for the party!

Day 4

I decided not to let it get me down and I signed up – me and my face elegantly iced like a cake with after-sun cream combined with my SPF50 cream – for a salsa class. Wow, clearly a good choice: the instructor was sooooooooooo hot - tanned, green eyes and one crazy six-pack – ka ching! After looking in my direction a couple of times – I think he felt a little sorry for me – I took advantage of the situation to play my cards (right): “Can you please show me some of these dance steps a little bit closer?!”

Day 5

Okay, it’s been more than 24 hours since I set my sights on the salsa instructor. He was a real gentleman and seduced me with sweet words like: “Before I met you, I didn’t believe in love at first sight!” in his totally sexy Spanish accent…  and I fell for it! Just like when you’re on a diet and you’ve gone without sugar for so long that you end up eating a bowl of cookie dough… as in, the whole thing. Replace the cookie dough with the instructor and… let’s go!

Day 6

This is the day that a huge bus of tourists arrive. There are so many people on the beach. Me and the girls spend the day gossiping about stories from the night before, especially about the gorgeous instructor. I couldn’t wait to see him again at the club after the evening show... But BANG! It seems that my hot instructor of the last two days didn’t know who I was any more! The blondie in the bikini WAY TOO MICRO, by the way, seemed to be more interesting than me! WHAT A JERK! I drowned my new singledom in a few mojitos and a little too much guacamole.

Day 7

My friend who I hadn’t seen all week – you know, the one who pretty much got married the second day – just found out that her sweetie-pie has no cell, still lives with his parents and is still in CÉGEP. And the kicker? He’s only 28… TURN OFF! So I end up spending my last day listening to her bitching while we packed.

Observation about my week: not exactly what I had in mind for my trip to Cuba. I practically never saw my best friend, didn’t enjoy the country at all, and my complexion has been so irritated for three days. That being said, I definitely managed to diconnect from my post-holiday stress and let’s not forget how important that is! :D

What are your best (or worst) vacation memories?


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About the author

Gabi is the girl who never goes unnoticed. Charisma and - it must be said - her big mouth intimidate many. She’s also never been in a "real...